Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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