it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize