I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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