Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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