The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
