guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
