He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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