Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
