is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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