I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
