Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
