If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
