Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
