You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
