So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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