he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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