It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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