Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
