Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize