So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
