Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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