When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
