I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
