piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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