i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my liver is dry heaving
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
