It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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