Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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