What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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