This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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