Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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