Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
