Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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