the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
