doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
