The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
