Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
