We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize