Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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