We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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