This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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