Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
