I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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