I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think people are normalizing furries
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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