I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
