I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
