i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
