dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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