Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
