Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
