I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
