The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
