at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just pynch a tree in the face
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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