Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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