I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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